Oh man, the road can bite you. No.... thank God I did not fall on my motorcycle or get in an accident. But I did get a ticket. Uhhh, so frustrating. I have prided myself in only getting a ticket once and that was on a lonely, abandoned road in Hawaii, many years ago. But he had me. 9 miles over the posted speed limit. Wait did I say posted. Let's say the established legal limit. Believe me I was at fault but who knew there were "Urban districts" where the speed limit on a side street is not 35 but 30. It didn't help that when you exit 610 north onto N. Main there is no sign posting the speed limit for about a mile. 30 miles/hr .... really? It wouldn't have mattered since he got me at 39 miles/hr. the fine is only $10 less. I used to think they gave you up to 7 miles an hour over the limit. But really, I just wasn't paying attention to my speed. BUT, I AM NOW. BELIEVE ME.
I have been wondering what it would take to slow me down. You know... get some patience so I wouldn't get so frustrated with all my "friends" on the road. Pain... in the wallet... and 5 hours for defensive driving, that got my attention and has slowed me down. At least for a while. I'm driving slower these days and watching my speedometer. Now, I haven't actually taken the course yet but will probably do the comedy version on line. But just thinking about 5 hours taking defensive driving pains me.
I wish I could complain of injustice. Like a speed trap or something. But being honest, if I was really paying attention I would have seen the officer and instinctively hit my brakes no matter what my speed and would have avoided all this. I feel stupid. God, I don't want another ticket.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Friday, August 5, 2011
From Buddha to Basketball
I had a wild... um, maybe I mean frustrating day on the road. I was heading home from the office about 5:30pm and arrived at the Studewood, N. Main, Cavalcade, 20th st intersection. Well almost. Did I mention that it was 114 degrees in my car and I was in a hurry to get home. This is where it all began.
Here is something that frustrates me to no end - when a driver is sitting at a light that turns green and just continues to sit, almost guaranteeing that I will not get through the light. Oh, that makes me angry. I just want to go home. How about this happening twice at the same light and it takes three changes of the light before I get through. Now you understand my frustration.
This made me think of Buddha or Buddhism to be exact. A tenet of Buddhism (granted I am not a Buddhist) is that desire causes suffering, usually because our desires cannot be satisfied, and efforts to fulfill our desires or our inability to satisfy them, leads to suffering for ourselves or others. The goal then is to eliminate desire. In my case I was suffering with frustration, even anger, because I could not satisfy my desire to get home...NOW. So it occurred to me that I should give up my desire to get home quickly and just accept that I will get there eventually. This could relieve a lot of frustration. Since there will be no effort of mine being frustrated. Next week, I will try to relax, listen to the news, and not desire to get home quickly. We'll see how it goes.
After exiting the freeway, I encountered someone in a greater hurry than me. After trying to push me faster in the left lane, he switched to the right lane and pressed down on another car. Did I mention that I hate it when someone pushes me or others. Okay, I admit that my response was a form of retaliation. I remembered a basketball term - boxing out. In this case I boxed him in. Never looking to my right... don't want to instigate road rage, I managed my speed just enough so that "my friend," could not get back over in front of me nor could he slip back behind me. I had him boxed in. That will teach him to be in a hurry. Now, who is going to teach me to stop being in a hurry. Now if only I could learn to stop hurrying.
Here is something that frustrates me to no end - when a driver is sitting at a light that turns green and just continues to sit, almost guaranteeing that I will not get through the light. Oh, that makes me angry. I just want to go home. How about this happening twice at the same light and it takes three changes of the light before I get through. Now you understand my frustration.
This made me think of Buddha or Buddhism to be exact. A tenet of Buddhism (granted I am not a Buddhist) is that desire causes suffering, usually because our desires cannot be satisfied, and efforts to fulfill our desires or our inability to satisfy them, leads to suffering for ourselves or others. The goal then is to eliminate desire. In my case I was suffering with frustration, even anger, because I could not satisfy my desire to get home...NOW. So it occurred to me that I should give up my desire to get home quickly and just accept that I will get there eventually. This could relieve a lot of frustration. Since there will be no effort of mine being frustrated. Next week, I will try to relax, listen to the news, and not desire to get home quickly. We'll see how it goes.
After exiting the freeway, I encountered someone in a greater hurry than me. After trying to push me faster in the left lane, he switched to the right lane and pressed down on another car. Did I mention that I hate it when someone pushes me or others. Okay, I admit that my response was a form of retaliation. I remembered a basketball term - boxing out. In this case I boxed him in. Never looking to my right... don't want to instigate road rage, I managed my speed just enough so that "my friend," could not get back over in front of me nor could he slip back behind me. I had him boxed in. That will teach him to be in a hurry. Now, who is going to teach me to stop being in a hurry. Now if only I could learn to stop hurrying.
Friday, July 29, 2011
My feelings aren't ALL bad
The day before yesterday, I surprised myself. While exiting onto 610 - the north loop, another car cut in front of me - dangerously close and apparently totally unaware. My impulse reaction was to lay on my horn in frustration. You know how it angers me when others put my life at risk. Well at the sound of my horn, the driver, unaware of what was happening, recklessly jerked his car first to the right and then to the left.
What surprised me was that I felt bad for him. It scared me that he endangered his own life. Maybe my instant and strong reaction caused him to be frightened and overact.
Whoa, what is happening? Do I have a soft spot, even for people who endanger my life. Surely not. I'm worried. Who am I?
Later in the day, I was riding on a feeder road and stayed in the left lane because I could see construction up ahead. Well the pick-up just slightly behind me but in the right lane, wasn't so lucky. He came right onto the construction, had to stop and got caught waiting for everyone to go around him. What a drag. I hate getting stuck in a lane where I was leading and now everyone is going around me. And there it was again. I actually felt bad for the guy. I tried to let him around in the split second that I had but he didn't see it and so on I went.
What was happening to me ? What does it mean? Am I not the person I thought I was?
I am not too concerned. Later in the day I got really angry with a driver who sat at a stop light long enough to leave me waiting for the next green light. I hate when that happens. And I didn't have one feeling of sympathy for that driver. I guess I am still me.
What surprised me was that I felt bad for him. It scared me that he endangered his own life. Maybe my instant and strong reaction caused him to be frightened and overact.
Whoa, what is happening? Do I have a soft spot, even for people who endanger my life. Surely not. I'm worried. Who am I?
Later in the day, I was riding on a feeder road and stayed in the left lane because I could see construction up ahead. Well the pick-up just slightly behind me but in the right lane, wasn't so lucky. He came right onto the construction, had to stop and got caught waiting for everyone to go around him. What a drag. I hate getting stuck in a lane where I was leading and now everyone is going around me. And there it was again. I actually felt bad for the guy. I tried to let him around in the split second that I had but he didn't see it and so on I went.
What was happening to me ? What does it mean? Am I not the person I thought I was?
I am not too concerned. Later in the day I got really angry with a driver who sat at a stop light long enough to leave me waiting for the next green light. I hate when that happens. And I didn't have one feeling of sympathy for that driver. I guess I am still me.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
I may have a problem
Donna (my wife) and I headed out to do a little grocery shopping this Friday afternoon. This meant traveling the west loop in Houston, as people are leaving work early. You can tell the difference in traffic volume on Friday's - at about noon things really heat up and south bound on the west loop and west bound on I-10 are no fun to travel.
Well on this day, we suddenly found ourselves in the middle of a very "slow moving" traffic jam headed north on the west loop. And so, the inevitable decision - do we just stay on course or find an alternate route home. I passed on my first opportunity to exit the freeway fearing a long line on the service road. I made the wrong choice. I was in big trouble. Now, I had to make another decision - 1) stay left onto 290 (that seemed crazy since the sign said the freeway was closed at 43rd. I couldn't figure out why so many people just continued to head that way.), 2) go right and exit at 18th (I've never seen so many 18 wheelers in one place), or 3) straddle the middle, where the least traffic seemed to be and exit at T.C. Jester. I chose the path of least resistance.
You know, of course, that I was on the left side and had to get into the middle, while riding in bumper to bumper traffic. And you also know, that Houston drivers are notorious for not letting you into their lane. I learned a long time ago, to not use my turn signal until I was already into my lane change. I don't remember reading this in the motor vehicle manual for Texas, but apparently it says, "When another driver turns on their indicator light to enter your lane, you should speed up and close the gap, because they are simply trying to increase the time it takes for you to get to your intended destination. And God forbid that you should let anyone slow you down on the road."
After several failed attempts to move right and the window of opportunity quickly closing, I must of had a near death experience because suddenly many thoughts and pictures passed before my mind. Here is a sampling: "I am a sensible human being but most of the other people on the road are idiots." "I pictured a modification on my car, where machine guns were mounted on both sides allowing me to shoot out tires, immobilizing offending vehicles, and creating a clear path." "I suddenly realized that before K-Mart went out of business in Houston, there was a blue light special on driving licenses, and half of the Houston population bought one. (This must explain why I so often holler out to other drivers, "Where did you get your license?") "I imagined my vehicle's wheels were like the chariot wheels in the movie Ben Hur, and would cut to shreds any tire that did not give way as I entered the right lane."
Suddenly coming to my senses, I somehow managed to get into the middle lane but now wondered if I had been the victim of an alien abduction, just underwent a Vulcan mind-meld, lost my mind, or am a very impatient person with a highly active imagination.
Whichever is true, I think I may have a problem.
Well on this day, we suddenly found ourselves in the middle of a very "slow moving" traffic jam headed north on the west loop. And so, the inevitable decision - do we just stay on course or find an alternate route home. I passed on my first opportunity to exit the freeway fearing a long line on the service road. I made the wrong choice. I was in big trouble. Now, I had to make another decision - 1) stay left onto 290 (that seemed crazy since the sign said the freeway was closed at 43rd. I couldn't figure out why so many people just continued to head that way.), 2) go right and exit at 18th (I've never seen so many 18 wheelers in one place), or 3) straddle the middle, where the least traffic seemed to be and exit at T.C. Jester. I chose the path of least resistance.
You know, of course, that I was on the left side and had to get into the middle, while riding in bumper to bumper traffic. And you also know, that Houston drivers are notorious for not letting you into their lane. I learned a long time ago, to not use my turn signal until I was already into my lane change. I don't remember reading this in the motor vehicle manual for Texas, but apparently it says, "When another driver turns on their indicator light to enter your lane, you should speed up and close the gap, because they are simply trying to increase the time it takes for you to get to your intended destination. And God forbid that you should let anyone slow you down on the road."
After several failed attempts to move right and the window of opportunity quickly closing, I must of had a near death experience because suddenly many thoughts and pictures passed before my mind. Here is a sampling: "I am a sensible human being but most of the other people on the road are idiots." "I pictured a modification on my car, where machine guns were mounted on both sides allowing me to shoot out tires, immobilizing offending vehicles, and creating a clear path." "I suddenly realized that before K-Mart went out of business in Houston, there was a blue light special on driving licenses, and half of the Houston population bought one. (This must explain why I so often holler out to other drivers, "Where did you get your license?") "I imagined my vehicle's wheels were like the chariot wheels in the movie Ben Hur, and would cut to shreds any tire that did not give way as I entered the right lane."
Suddenly coming to my senses, I somehow managed to get into the middle lane but now wondered if I had been the victim of an alien abduction, just underwent a Vulcan mind-meld, lost my mind, or am a very impatient person with a highly active imagination.
Whichever is true, I think I may have a problem.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Tapping my fears
Twice yesterday a car began coming into my lane before they got past me. I immediately honked my horn... for some time... and felt a flair of anger. I might have expressed myself through, let's say, an irregular word.
What I realized upon reflection is that my anger is rooted in fear. The fear of impending harm or even death. What makes me angry is that someone else would take it upon themselves, whether through carelessness, preoccupation or accident, to increase my exposure to injury. I believe I have the right to be in control of the amount of risk that I take with my life.
Now, my friends know that I ride a motorcycle. I love to take it on the road. And I would say that I ride carefully, very aware of other vehicles on the road at all times. My wife is wonderful and has let me ride without guilting (I think I learned this word from my son) me. But I wonder if I am creating fear in her life, by... from her perspective... putting her life unnecessarily at risk. I'm sure that it her mind riding a motorcycle in our city increases the risk of injury. And my injury would definitely impact her life, negatively. I can see that riding a motorcycle, or driving too fast, or speaking without thinking increases other peoples exposure to harm and takes away some measure of control over their own lives. No wonder people respond to us with anger at times. They suddenly feel unnecessarily exposed to greater harm or injury or loss.
Wow. How do we learn to live with peace and grace in the face of people who intentionally or unintentionally increase OUR exposure to risk?
Side note: I am not selling my motorcycle and Donna and I have never discussed the musings of this blog
What I realized upon reflection is that my anger is rooted in fear. The fear of impending harm or even death. What makes me angry is that someone else would take it upon themselves, whether through carelessness, preoccupation or accident, to increase my exposure to injury. I believe I have the right to be in control of the amount of risk that I take with my life.
Now, my friends know that I ride a motorcycle. I love to take it on the road. And I would say that I ride carefully, very aware of other vehicles on the road at all times. My wife is wonderful and has let me ride without guilting (I think I learned this word from my son) me. But I wonder if I am creating fear in her life, by... from her perspective... putting her life unnecessarily at risk. I'm sure that it her mind riding a motorcycle in our city increases the risk of injury. And my injury would definitely impact her life, negatively. I can see that riding a motorcycle, or driving too fast, or speaking without thinking increases other peoples exposure to harm and takes away some measure of control over their own lives. No wonder people respond to us with anger at times. They suddenly feel unnecessarily exposed to greater harm or injury or loss.
Wow. How do we learn to live with peace and grace in the face of people who intentionally or unintentionally increase OUR exposure to risk?
Side note: I am not selling my motorcycle and Donna and I have never discussed the musings of this blog
Saturday, July 16, 2011
The road travels in two directions
I had a disturbing thought. What if my life on the roads of Houston Texas run in two directions? When I described my experience on the road as a microcosm of my life, I was imagining two separate worlds - my life on the road and my "real life. " And that I could reflect on my experiences on the road and then try to apply them to my life. But what if my life on the road is a reflection of my "real life?" What if my thoughts and actions while driving rise out of what is happening in the rest of my life. What if my encounters on the road were so to speak, "the straw that broke the camels back," and out come pouring in this more impersonal and unaccountable time, the real condition of my life.
The thought is disturbing because if it is true in any way, then I might have to experience change and healing in my "real life" so that I can be different on the road. I did not bargain for this. This adventure may have just become a two way street.
The thought is disturbing because if it is true in any way, then I might have to experience change and healing in my "real life" so that I can be different on the road. I did not bargain for this. This adventure may have just become a two way street.
Friday, July 15, 2011
The Beginning of the Road
During a recent discussion at a Life group - a small group meeting in a home - of the Vineyard Church of Houston, I had an epiphany. I realized that my encounters behind the wheel while driving on the roads of Houston, Texas are a microcosm of my entire life and if I could learn the lessons there, I might learn them for all other areas of my life.
So many issues have arisen during my daily commutes - the condition of my heart, my character, my beliefs about people, my sense of justice, the law, language, and a host of other things.
I am determined to learn and change. So, I have decided to be more observant and reflective about my experiences on the road and to keep an account of my journeys and reflections of life through this blog.
I have probably made a foolish beginning. I should have kept my mouth shut. But instead I made a promise to some of my fellow travelers earlier this week. I pledged that the next time I am in a line of traffic exiting a freeway from the far right lane, and someone drives in the lane to my left and tries to cut in front of me, I will not wildly gesture or shout things neither my wife or son would approve. Instead I will give them room to enter my lane. Period. This might be something akin to loving my enemy. I am just going to do it and hope the world doesn't come to an end or result in my own personal carmaggedon.
So many issues have arisen during my daily commutes - the condition of my heart, my character, my beliefs about people, my sense of justice, the law, language, and a host of other things.
I am determined to learn and change. So, I have decided to be more observant and reflective about my experiences on the road and to keep an account of my journeys and reflections of life through this blog.
I have probably made a foolish beginning. I should have kept my mouth shut. But instead I made a promise to some of my fellow travelers earlier this week. I pledged that the next time I am in a line of traffic exiting a freeway from the far right lane, and someone drives in the lane to my left and tries to cut in front of me, I will not wildly gesture or shout things neither my wife or son would approve. Instead I will give them room to enter my lane. Period. This might be something akin to loving my enemy. I am just going to do it and hope the world doesn't come to an end or result in my own personal carmaggedon.
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