Tapping my fears

Twice yesterday a car began coming into my lane before they got past me. I immediately honked my horn... for some time... and felt a flair of anger. I might have  expressed myself through, let's say, an irregular word.

What I realized upon reflection is that my anger is rooted in fear. The fear of impending harm or even death. What makes me angry is that someone else would take it upon themselves, whether through carelessness, preoccupation or accident, to increase my exposure to injury. I believe I have the right to be in control of the amount of risk that I take with my life.

Now, my friends know that I ride a motorcycle. I love to take it on the road. And I would say that I ride carefully, very aware of other vehicles on the road at all times. My wife is wonderful and has let me ride without guilting (I think I learned this word from my son) me. But I wonder if I am creating fear in her life, by... from her perspective... putting her life unnecessarily at risk. I'm sure that it her mind riding a motorcycle in our city increases the risk of injury. And my injury would definitely impact her life, negatively. I can see that riding a motorcycle, or driving too fast, or speaking without thinking increases other peoples exposure to harm and takes away some measure of control over their own lives. No wonder people respond to us with anger at times. They suddenly feel unnecessarily exposed to greater harm or injury or loss.

Wow. How do we learn to live with peace and grace in the face of people who intentionally or unintentionally increase OUR exposure to risk?

Side note: I am not selling my motorcycle and Donna and I have never discussed the musings of this blog

The Beginning of the Road

During a recent discussion at a Life group - a small group meeting in a home - of the Vineyard Church of Houston, I had an epiphany. I realized that my encounters behind the wheel while driving on the roads of Houston, Texas are a microcosm of my entire life and if I could learn the lessons there, I might learn them for all other areas of my life.

So many issues have arisen during my daily commutes - the condition of my heart, my character, my beliefs about people, my sense of justice, the law, language, and a host of other things.

I am determined to learn and change. So, I have decided to be more observant and reflective about my experiences on the road and to keep an account of my journeys and reflections of life through this blog.

I have probably made a foolish beginning. I should have kept my mouth shut. But instead I made a promise to some of my fellow travelers earlier this week. I pledged that the next time I am in a line of traffic exiting a freeway from the far right lane, and someone drives in the lane to my left and tries to cut in front of me, I will not wildly gesture or shout things neither my wife or son would approve. Instead I will give them room to enter my lane. Period. This might be something akin to loving my enemy. I am just going to do it and hope the world doesn't come to an end or result in my own personal carmaggedon.