Twice yesterday a car began coming into my lane before they got past me. I immediately honked my horn... for some time... and felt a flair of anger. I might have expressed myself through, let's say, an irregular word.
What I realized upon reflection is that my anger is rooted in fear. The fear of impending harm or even death. What makes me angry is that someone else would take it upon themselves, whether through carelessness, preoccupation or accident, to increase my exposure to injury. I believe I have the right to be in control of the amount of risk that I take with my life.
Now, my friends know that I ride a motorcycle. I love to take it on the road. And I would say that I ride carefully, very aware of other vehicles on the road at all times. My wife is wonderful and has let me ride without guilting (I think I learned this word from my son) me. But I wonder if I am creating fear in her life, by... from her perspective... putting her life unnecessarily at risk. I'm sure that it her mind riding a motorcycle in our city increases the risk of injury. And my injury would definitely impact her life, negatively. I can see that riding a motorcycle, or driving too fast, or speaking without thinking increases other peoples exposure to harm and takes away some measure of control over their own lives. No wonder people respond to us with anger at times. They suddenly feel unnecessarily exposed to greater harm or injury or loss.
Wow. How do we learn to live with peace and grace in the face of people who intentionally or unintentionally increase OUR exposure to risk?
Side note: I am not selling my motorcycle and Donna and I have never discussed the musings of this blog
I know what you mean, and I've caught myself in places where I've been emotionally wound up because of what someone else has done (on the freeway or otherwise). It's not perfect, but I've been trying more lately to think about why another person would say or do something to before before reacting angrily. I still fail many times, but it has worked to try to put myself in someone else's shoes first.
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